In Today's News...

I don't generally make fun of music industry icons like Madonna here but I've just recently had the joy of sitting through her latest 'hit' called "4 something or other"...





Firstly, weirdo arm issues on the go here. Secondly, this type of gross is completely unnecessary dear. You could be sunning yourself on some Greek island, paid for using the loose change in your lounge suite. Instead, your abusing you're power in the industry to push the motherfucking Leotard moment just that much too far for me!

Put on some clothes woman!




Now, I'm that last person to call her stupid or unappealing. She's a business woman of note and she's in fantastic shape. She's chosen wisely for this latest single - I mean you can't go wrong with JT and Timberland, right? Right. And yeah, the money she'll make off this hit alone will feed all of Kenya for many years to come. I've just had it with the age-inappropriate gear.

And leotards are not making a comeback, I don't care who you are.

In Today's News...

Skeletor is a daddy!




I know... I know... it's been a while since I updated and these kids are probably like 8 by now, snorting coke or flashing vagina's, but this is one birth we need to celebrate - along with Salma Hayek (she has actually given birth right?) - as the bleeders seemed to gestate for years with these two.

Anyway, happy fathers day Skeletor, love She-Rah.

In Today's News...

What's wrong with this picture?




You mean... aside from the fact that there are no boobs on Kate Hudson's chest? Well... aside from the fact that there are no boobs on Kate Hudson's chest, there actually isn't a whole bunch wrong with this picture.

But (and you'll excuse my fixation here but I just can't get this freakish discovery out of my head) where did they go? Who took them? Was Mr Wilson involved on any level? Speak to me Kate! Tell me how I can help?

In Today's News...

Why is this woman still on TV?




I mean seriously. Why? She's a terrible actress whose career relies solely on her late father's still standing pull in the industry, has a poor sense of fashion (though we can always blame a lifetime playing Donna Martin for this) and... to be honest... is just plain unattractive. Excessive plastic surgery and, more recently, an extended pregnancy has done nothing to beautify this woman.

Enough already. Fifty years of BH90210 was enough. Time to retire, I say!

In Today's News...

I think I’ve figured out why Beyonce keeps falling down during her concerts and shows…


By AndreaTheBrave

She must have burned her retinas out of her head by staring at this outfit for five hours before putting it on. I mean that’s the only explanation, right? She caught site of it, wondered what was wrong with it, couldn’t stop staring and by then it was too late. It was the only thing within arm’s reach; she was naked and had to go on stage. And there you have the “In the beginning…” part of most fashion horror stories.


Apparently Bill Murray was arrested recently.


By AndreaTheBrave

I’d like to be able to say he was arrested for drunk and disorderly but he’s not ageing as gracefully as Nick Nolte (scroll down some). I reckon he was arrested under a WAWCD (Walking Around Whilst Clinically Dead). My question here is what the fuck happened between “Lost in Translation” and now. Man alive, it’s like anything and everything that could hasten the ageing process – did.

Why does Brooke Hogan bother with panties at all?


By AndreaTheBrave

I’m pretty sure prostitutes aren’t generally from the “less is more” school of thought. In future, dearie, don’t bother.

In other news… one of these three people is a male…


By AndreaTheBrave

Kate Hudson and Cindy Crawford should be done in for child abuse. Their boys are too pretty for long hair. When they start looking more like their sister’s than their sisters do, it’s time for a trim!

Oh my god! I shit you not. Salma Hayek is still fucking pregnant!


By AndreaTheBrave

Actually let me rephrase. She’s not pregnant. She’s freaking gestating. She’s been up the dwang so long people are considering mating her with Hulau, the lonely African elephant they keep in the New York Zoo. She can handle it, wouldn’t ya know she’s been pregnant for 17 years!!!!!!!


Hi Y’all….


By AndreaTheBrave

It’s me. Britters. In all my glory. Wait! Where am I??? Oh right... Y’all better believe I’ve had the most amazing few weeks like ever. First I found his baby doll dress IN MY SIZE. Yeah…!!! And I’m slamming it with my funky, cheeso flavoured boots man, like, I’m like a walking trend babies. Suck it to me! Light Brown, Dark Brown, Pink, a bit more Pink and… yip some more Brown. Finished off with a classy red bag… I don’t know anymore. I’m done with this broad.


By AndreaTheBrave

Or am I????? No. I’ll never be done with Britney. Not as long as she comes up with these pearlers. I’d like to hazard a guess and say she woke up, scratched at the caked remnants of yesterday’s make up, threw on a wig, squeezed a lemon into the nearest baby’s eyes, inhaled a bag of Tartrazine flavoured dough and, in her haste, left the house without her pants…. But we all know that last bit is just not feasible – we all know she chose not to wear pants.

In Today's News...

Yes, ladies and germs... this is your Sexiest Woman Alive...


Shot at 2007-07-20

I think I'm putting 'that picture' of me with my tummy hanging out forward for next year's running. I'm pretty sure I'm in with a win there...


Come to think of it, there seems to be a trend in the US when it comes to tummies...


Shot at 2007-07-20

And boobs...


Shot at 2007-07-20

What on earth? It's like her boobs are squint or something. Left boob: But I like that guy over there...

Oh... hahaha... Oh...


Shot at 2007-07-20

My favourite droopy boobs are back doing the rounds. Dunst still isn't wearing a bra - I swear it's like she has someone sifting through her mail specifically removing my helpful hints about where she should go for the perfect bra.


In other news, Kelly Clarkson, like me, has won the battle against Anorexia...


Shot at 2007-07-20

and, like me, Nick Nolte has won the battle against sobriety...


Shot at 2007-07-20


Lastly, I know Suri Cruise is supposed to be the world's most beautiful baby but she kind of freaks me out....


Shot at 2007-07-20

No, no... something's definitely wrong there.

In Today's News...

The Evolution of Britters...


Shot at 2007-07-12

In Today's News...

The universe has finally confirmed what I've felt for many years...



Britters is Ass...


Massive Typo as this magazine tells us this is Celine Dion's SON...



Hmmm... I smell a law suit! Celine is going to be PISSED.


I'm not showing the whole picture here cos I'm sick of looking at it...



As far as I know, Salma Hayek has yet to give birth... shame.


Sienna Miller....



Hobo-chique.


Aaaaarrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!



Rachel Weisz needs to burn something here... and I don't mean my eyeballs!

In Today's News...

New fashion piece from Paris Hilton stables...

In Today's News...

For the love of all that is holy...



Will Salma Hayek do us a freaking favour and give birth already?


In really great news...



Isn't Paris going to jail this week? I wish she'd use those prison issue PCs to do a blog up for the month or however long it is she's in the slammer. That, though a trial to read, would make my year!


Well, well, well...



Lindsay Lohan is still a bit of a prostitute. Or a clown. I haven't decided yet.


Another clown doing the rounds is this rotund specimen...



Anybody have a clue who Kate Slade is? If you do, do us a favour and send me her address. I'd like her to foot the bill for burning my retina's out of my eyeballs.


Jessica Simpson has confirmed what some of you have always suspected...



She is indeed the world's first walking, talking, living, breathing blow up doll.


Wait a minute... what's going on here?



Did someone decide that the sight of Jessica Alba drooling on herself like a 98 year old man who's lost his teeth was sexy? She looks positively brain dead. This must go round the Internet. I'm tired of being the only person this look works for!


And then... on the other end of the scale of who looks good wearing a drool bib, we have young Britney Spears who unfortunately just doesn't.



I think I'll take a month's supply of Vicodin with my supper tonight, thanks.


Dude... for like two seconds I thought this man was smoking...



Now I realise he's just brown. Easy to confuse the two.


I've left this little beauty for last today and there's really only one reason for this... though if I was up to it I could think of several more...



Anytime this moron shows the world what I've been telling them is true I've got to make a big splash... if I were bright enough to do big stars and exploding goodies, I would... so do me a favour and imagine they're there because now, not only is Merzzz Dunst an idiot, she's an idiot with a gigantic black flower glued to the side of her empty... empty head.